Karma Rocks November 27, 2007

I’ve had a rough love life. Loved hard, been hurt even harder. However, despite all the wrongs men have done to me, I’ve maintained a level of decency and goodness. I’ve accepted rejection and never behaved psycho-ex-girlfriendy. I’ve been one of the lucky girls who’s had that college-ex (you know, the one that caused you to lose your innocence and youth resulting in extensive therapy) come crawling back a decade later, 40 pounds heavier, after 2 divorces, saying that no woman compares to me. I know its because I treat men with respect. Golden rule, baby. But the older and wiser I get, the less I’m willing to accept these boomerang efforts.

Recently I was approached by a regretful ex with a Facebook ‘poke.’ Having lost all patience for his miserable temper and petty behavior, I composed this Facebook message:

Your request to virtually ‘poke’ me on Facebook is just another feeble
effort to make amends for all the idiotic ways you’ve attempted to
assert your mental and emotional prowess. There was a time I found
your lack of good judgment to be naiveté and not at all mean spirited.
With time, space, and perspective, your fumblings lead me to
believe that you are simply a man-child – motivated by cruel
intentions when he feels threatened or vulnerable. There is no depth
to your vulgarity – you really are that daft when it pertains to human
relations. I’ve always treated you golden, and my good nature has
reached its threshold. I also find the ennui of you and your antics
to be so yesterday….

Please, keep your pokes to yourself. I don’t feel like being hurt and disappointed anymore.

To my surprise, I immediately received a tearful phone call begging for forgiveness.

Lets hope my good and decent character doesn’t lead to righteousness. But, man, retribution feels good.